Haven't written in a while.

So maybe I should make this one worth it?

Hm.

I feel low. As per usual.

I see through people, even if there isn't anything to see through by.
I'm quite frankly sick of all my friends.

I mean, no offence,
but a majority of you, are there. Everyday.
I have to see you (not all of you) every day, for a majority of that day, apart from on a weekend.
I understand, its a fault on my part.

Sigh. The one person I really wanna see outside of school (cuz they're a dick inside of it)
Won't even let me go to their house cuz it'll be ''awkward''

Is it not bad enough that I won't be able to spend new years with them, cuz they're on fucking holiday.

I don't go on holidays ffs.
I'm so fucking poor, yet you fucking tits go like so much.


I'm not going to a new years party.
I know what will happen.
I'll do it again.


Like I did on saturday. Twice. I can't help it.

Oh yeh. Chris' house.
Fuck you guys who say; omg those wasters are idiots.
Not really, if anything, they have a slight upper hand.

Why can't everyone stop pretending. (me included)

Tbh, it's sometimes really clear what certain people think.
Some others are harder to read.



I'm not ready for the future.
I want to stop now.


Cock.




I'm lost. Genuinly.
Can't take any of this boring routine, I'll write it down about 6 times a day, even though its the same everyday.

There isn't a point to life. Seems extreme, but that is how I feel right now.

Someone said something to me, which I don't think they meant. But I did. I think.
Which begs me to think, why'd they say it.
But I know perfectly why.
Even though it didn't.




I'm so upmyself.
I just want to curl up away from everything, everyone.


These things I need to say, which you probably wont get. it;s not for you. its for me.

- Did you actually mean that?
- I want to. But you don't.
- I wish you'd get over yourself and just let me come over.
- I wish you'd stop being a dick in school.
- Leave me alone!
- Headphones in. Don't talk to me.
- Shut up..
- I wish you'd stop being so mean to me, I'm not sure you realise how much it actually hurts.
- Wish you'd say what you really thought.
- Why don't you actually listen?
- Stop being such a fag. If you actually wanted to do your plan, fucking do it. Don't be such a fucking pussy.
- OMG ASK HIM OUT! Don't fucking sit there, blatently just .eugh.
- Do something about it.



Y'know, I wish I had the pure guts to say this and many things to certain people.
Maybe I will.



Sigh.









:'(
This school has ruined me.